JAN MOIR: Meghan's now little more than a cooking Kardashian (2025)

In America there are tiny signs that Meghan Sussex-not-Markle just might have the last laugh. I know. Stop it. Hear me out.

Following the debut of her much-derided Netflix series, it is no secret the Duchess of Sussex is the subject of a torrent of mockery and criticism in the Land of the Free.

With Love, Meghan has been lampooned absolutely everywhere across the States.

Newspapers and magazines, showbiz publications and supermarket tabloids, late night chat show hosts, cultural commentators, stand-up comics, random dudes in wigs on the internet and even sundry knock down gingers have all duly knocked Mrs Ginger down – with no end of the ridicule in sight.

But one person believes in her. Ted Sarandos. And he is the one man you would want on your side, were you a wannabe lifestyle influencer with no discernible culinary skills and a truckload of jam to sell.

In an interview with trade bible Variety this week, the all-powerful CEO of Netflix claimed that the Duchess was 'underestimated in terms of her influence on culture'.

He pointed out that following the Netflix show Harry & Meghan in 2022, the shoes Meghan was wearing sold out all over the world, as did the Hermes blanket on the chair behind her.

Shoes and blankets? They are important to horses of course, but what deeper significance do they have for the rest of us? 'People are fascinated with Meghan Markle. She and Harry are overly dismissed,' insisted the Netflix boss. Fascinated? Or appalled? Perhaps it doesn't matter in the heat of the ratings war.

Sarandos is the man who brought Squid Game and professional wrestling to a global audience on his platform, so he's not going to go broke underestimating the intelligence of the viewing public any time soon.

Perhaps that is why Netflix is harnessing the global interest in the Duchess and fixing it on to the wagon of cold, hard commerce.

To the extent that it is now a partner in Meghan's company – and will be making and distributing products displayed or referenced on her show.These will include the edible flowers, the dreary jams and the baking mixes used by the Duchess, who admitted on screen that she didn't much like baking anyway.

But who gives a damn about authenticity if there is a dollar to be made?

Some might say that the streaming giant should at least have the decency to advertise this commercial partnership before each show, so viewers can judge for themselves if Meghan's charming reliance upon sprinkling petals on everything from her iced doughnuts to her cocktails is simple affectation or wily product placement.

You have to laugh. Remember all that grand talk from Meghan and Harry about carving out a 'progressive new role', launching meaningful initiatives, driving long-term change, uncovering and resolving the root causes of issues, prioritising lasting solutions over temporary fixes and generally being better than you?

And here she is, little more than a cooking Kardashian, flogging Victoria sponge mix while scattering little hints – like her beloved hemp hearts on an oaty drink – that being a member of the Royal Family was like being a prisoner in an ivory tower; a place where she was prohibited from self-expression and wearing the bright colours that she doesn't love and hasn't worn since.

And now that she is free, she can fulfil her mission in life to show the world how to make bath salts and indulge in her odd little mania for repackaging items and putting a label on them.

It's quite possible that Harry wanders around Montecito with a Paddington-style label around his neck that reads 'Please Look After This Twit' in her beautiful but oddly menacing calligraphy.

'It is an expression of fandom,' says Mr Sarandos of the collaboration, which is a quaint way of saying 'cashing in like there is no tomorrow'.

In the not-too-distant future, I can see a Netflix shop stacked with edible petals and calligraphy pens and honey candles and all sorts of Meghan-themed merchandised crud, all of it for sale at an opportunistic price point and do you know what? It might just work.

There are enough airheads out there who seem to be impressed by decanting peanut butter pretzels from one bag into another and making beetle-shaped canapes from cherry tomatoes and mozzarella balls.

And even if there aren't, the Duchess of Sussex is a lesson to us all in perseverance and indefatigability; of keeping true to your chosen path despite the mocking laughter of the world.

For despite the bland, smirking hostess she portrays in these corny kitchen scenes, there has to be something extraordinary about a woman who, with nothing more than sheer grit and a Soho House membership, managed to spirit herself and her husband out of the supposedly evil clutches of the British Royal Family and on to the sunlit uplands of California.

And it is there, in her heroic determination to succeed no matter what, that we see the real Meghan.

Why is there no will to stop Tate's poison?

In his BBC lecture, Gareth Southgate spoke out about 'toxic influencers' who 'willingly trick young men into believing that success is measured by money or dominance, never showing emotions and believing that the world and young women are against them'.

He means Andrew Tate – the influencer with 11 billion views who faces allegations of sexual assault in Britain and human trafficking in Romania – and Southgate's remarks could not be more timely.

He did notmention Tate by name, even though he is regarded as a poster boy for virulent misogyny; a man who sees women as possessions and encourages his followers to think the same.

Triple murderer Kyle Clifford – who killed his girlfriend after she dumped him, along with her mother and sister – was a fan who watched Tate videos the night before he committed these terrible crimes.

Adolescence, the gripping Netflix drama, poses the terrible question: could a teenage boy be so influenced by the likes of Tate that he is driven to murder a classmate? The answer seems to be yes.

The gospel according to Tate is that evil feminists and weak politicians persecute and oppress men. This means lonely and troubled boys who crave attention from the opposite sex can turn their isolation into victimhood, blaming women for all the perceived hurts in their lives.

The isolation that living online can bring does not help either.

Southgate also talked about an 'epidemic of fatherlessness' with 'boys more likely to own a smartphone than live with their dad'. I'm glad he addressed this directly, because modern society too often marginalises fathers and their important role in family life.

Southgate's message was entirely laudable, but what good will it do? Tate's poison flows directly into the brains of vulnerable young men – and there seems to be no will to stop it. Sometimes it feels there is hate crime legislation to protect every tyrannised group – except women.

Poor Meg battered over a waffle

Yet more Meghan! That poor girl can't even make green waffles for St Patrick's Day without the internet loons going conspiracy crazy.

Did she really cook them? Why weren't they quartered, like the grid on her waffle maker? Everyone missed the obvious, which was that the Duchess of Sussex deliberately and maliciously set out to humiliate the Royal Family by making a sly waffle portrait of our dear departed Queen Elizabeth.

Just look at that whipped cream hair, those blueberries for eyes and that kiwi fruit nose.

It is a dead ringer for HM – and so disrespectful to the memory of a wonderful woman. It is waffily rude and proves that Meghan will stop at nothing to embarrass our Royal Family. PS I'm kidding, so don't all write at once.

Teenage killer Nicholas Prosper is another who refused to attend his sentencing hearing.

After being found guilty of murdering his mother, brother and sister, Prosper refused to leave his cell to turn up at Luton Crown Court this week. Mrs Justice Cheema-Grubb was having none of it.

She ordered the killer to be brought before the court and, in advance of sentencing him to 49 years in prison, said: 'I was told that you were refusing to attend court. I ordered that you must attend. You do not want to be here, but it is not your choice.

'You have to face the consequences of your actions; to hear the court's sentence passed in public and it is important for those who loved your victims to see you sentenced.'

How I wish more judges would follow her excellent example. It's not about the rights of the accused – it's about the tiny comfort the bereaved and the victims can glean from seeing justice being done.

Frankly goes to Holyrood

Back to Nicola Sturgeon, who is no longer a suspect in the investigation into SNP finances. 'As I have said to you many times, I have done nothing wrong,' she told reporters with her usual nippy sweetie air.

'Obviously it is a relief now to have that confirmed.' Meanwhile, the former First Minister reveals her upcoming autobiography is to be called Frankly. She assures us it will be 'honest and candid' – well there's a first time for everything, even in Scottish politics.

She also promises detail about her 'achievements' which I take to mean chapters on her magnificent life and countless accomplishments and very little on her husband being charged with embezzling SNP party funds. 'I know nothing more,' she told police last year, frankly.

Kirstie Allsopp says the secret to banishing mould from your house is to open your windows for a short period every day. Who would have thought it?

Next week domestic goddess Kirstie addresses the difficulty of dirt collecting on carpets and suggests a technique called 'vacuuming' to tackle the problem.

And when a viewer tells of crockery build-up and storage issues in her dishwasher, Kirstie advises her to promptly remove the cleaned crockery from inside the dishwasher and store it neatly inside kitchen cupboards before attempting to reload with more dirty plates. You're welcome!

Back Queen Gal

Israeli actress Gal Gadot's Hollywood Walk of Fame star ceremony was disrupted by pro-Palestinian protesters.

This had nothing to do with the controversies surrounding her new film Snow White – in which she stars as the Evil Queen – but everything to do with the simple fact of her birth.

Gal formerly served in the Israel Defence Forces, during her mandatory two years of national service. Her heritage is enough to bring the nutters out in Hollywood and online – but their protests seem less pro-Palestinian than simply anti-Jewish.

And there is a word for that, as we all know. If Hollywood had a moral spine, it would defend Gadot, who is being criticised for merely existing.